Turning Freelance Work Down
A Light-hearted Look at When to Walk Away From Writing Jobs
Jun 20, 2008
Balancing enthusiasm for a writing career with the realities involved isn't always easy. What may seem like a dream-job can turn into something far less attractive once the gloss wears off. But working out what is worth doing and what is not, is part of the whole experience.
Meet New Writer
New Writer is keen. She’ll write anything. By a strange coincidence, her local paper is advertising for freelance writers. She rings and the editor’s had a nil response so far. He’s despairing but his luck just changed.
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.
NW tells him she’s had articles published and written some business copy. He wants advertising features, which she’s never written – a telephone interview, 400 words, £15. Not great money but better than a poke in the eye with a rejection letter, so she says, ‘Why not just let me write one for you and see how it goes?’ And he says, ‘OK.’
Soon NW has the job. So far so good. After three months she can write copy in her sleep and so long as she can turn the features round in an hour, then it’s fine.
Ideal Scenario
NW gets an email that reads,‘Carol’s Salon – new tanning section. Contact Carol. 400 words by Thursday week.’
No problem. There’s a phone number, she rings, speaks to Carol. What a nice woman!
It’s 10 am, they talk for fifteen minutes, bid one another a fond farewell and NW writes the feature, emailing it at once.
It’s 11am. She makes a cup of coffee, having just earned fifteen quid. She’s still in her pyjamas. Great! She does ten of these a month at £15 plus telephone expenses. She’s a professional writer!
Typical Scenario
9.00 am Day 1
NW gets an email. It reads: ‘Fred’s Diner – new premises. Tel. 007 666 54321 Contact Fred. 400 words by tomorrow first thing.’
She Finds the Right Number
Rings Fred. Fred’s dead. Been dead for twenty-five years. His son Ned runs the business now. Can she speak to Ned then? No. Ned only comes in between midnight and three a.m. when there’s a full moon. Great. So who should she speak to? Someone is expecting to hear from her, right? OK, no-one’s expecting to hear from her. She’ll ring back.
She Puts the Morning on Hold
Doesn’t buy bread or visit her mother and skips a meeting about business networking so she can ring Fred’s Diner every ten minutes. She considers hiring a medium to contact Fred personally because she hears them shouting, ‘Ned? Do you wanna speak to this daft woman?’ and the sound of feet running fast into the distance. But she feels personally responsible. She can’t let her editor down!
She Puts the Afternoon on Hold
She emails, ‘Hi Ed, Fred’s dead. Ned’s fled.’
‘I’ll get back to you.’ he replies.
Two hours later, the clock’s ticking, the world will end if this feature isn’t written by 10 am tomorrow, and he hasn’t got back to her. His email arrives at 4.30pm.
‘Ring now. They’re expecting you.’
She rings. They’ve all gone home.
8.30 am Day 2
NW tries again. Ned answers! Hurrah! He’s very reluctant to speak to her. Doesn’t like speaking on the phone. His dad, Fred, did all that sort of thing. Like pulling teeth, she draws the words out of him. He struggles and screams quite a bit.
Fifteen minutes of hard work and she’s established that they’ve been in business for quite a long time and are moving to new premises. Oh dear…..
9.30 am Day 2
NW has written 400 words of stunning prose about this amazing diner, expanding after years of solid efficient service to travelling truck drivers, to accommodate three extra tables. Yippee! The roadside caff will never be the same and it’s all down to Fred (who’s dead, but there we go).
NW is just about to email this serious Pulitzer contender to Ed when he rings.
‘I’ve done it, I’ve done it.’ NW cries in triumph, ‘I’m just about to email it to you!’ ‘Forget it,’ says Ed, ‘It’s off. Charge me a fiver for your time. See you.’
NW Has a Fine Vocabulary
Fortunately Ed rings off before she can share it with him. She wonders if this is taking more time than it’s worth and looks for new work. The following week she writes a publicity brochure for a conference centre. It’s 400 words long, takes her three hours including interviews and two drafts and she gets £200 for it plus a lead to more work.
This is a true story, more or less, so there’s a lesson in there, somewhere.
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